Nadesico: New Recruit Joe
by DoomaWriter
Summary: (Chapter 5 is up!) What happens when a new pilot comes to take over Akito's position? Will he give in or fight for his title? Find out and review!
1. Arrival and Disruption

Nadesico: New Recruit Joe! by DoomaWriter  
  
Author's notes: First and foremost, I claim no ownership of any sorts to Nadesico. Seriously, would this fanfic be free if I owned Nadesico?  
  
Hello, loyal Doomafans and new comers! This story doesn't neccessarily take place during any special time within the Nadesico timeline, but for those of you who need to know, it'll most likely be around the time when Megumi was interested in Akito.  
  
And you know the rules: The more of you who review, the quicker I put up new chapters! Let me know you exist! And now, YOU GET BURNING!  
  
Part 1: Arrival and Disruption  
  
The story begins with the Nadesico in space. The Jovian Lizards haven't attacked for days and all is realitivly peaceful. On the bridge, Yurika was asleep and drooling a little on her counsel. Megumi reads a magazine while Minato clipped her fingernails. When one flew off and hit Megumi's face, Minato would just smile nervously. Ruri plays a video game where the Kanji symbols for Left and Right were beating the pixels out of each other. Her game is cut off by a screen that says "INCOMING" and she looks up, her monotone expressions hinting to confusion.  
  
Akito sat in his dark., dank room, exercising his mind the best way he knew how. "Let's go, Gekiganger 3!" Akito shouted, singing the theme song to his favorite anime. "With Yurika and Megumi occupied, I'll finally be able to watch my episode in peace!" A window screen opens up and displays Ruri's face in front of the television. "Figures."  
  
"Attention all crew members, " Ruri began. "An incoming Aestivalis is about to dock within the Nadesico. It appears to be friendly and claims to be from Nergal." During her speech, Akito tries to look around the message to his television screen. "All mechanics clear the runway, and pilots are to meet it upon arival." Fed up, Akito shoves the screen aside to get a clear view. Suddenly, fifty more windows pop up one after another, surrounding him and blocking all view. "That means you too, Aktio."  
  
"I'm just a cook! What's the point of me going? Just let me watch my show in peace, dammit!"  
  
Seeing him about to show his bipolar fits again, Ruri simply said "Baka" and closed all of her screens. Back at the bridge, Ruri brings up a screen with a box that's labeled "Tenkawa's Room" and taps a few keys.  
  
"Finally!" Akito says to himself as the intro screen fades away. Suddenly, his television screen turns off. Soon, all the appliances go off, sealing him in total darkness. "Damn you, Ruri."  
  
A bunch of crew members run through the halls as Akito struggles to manually open his door wide enough to get through. Ryoko stops and sees the sweating Akito who obviously needed help. "Oi, Tenkawa! Get your ass in gear!" She then runs off, leaving Akito to fend for himself.  
  
Over the intercom, "Space locks sealed and Aestivalis secured. Hanger is safe for human occupation."  
  
Everyone look at awe at the new Aesti. It was a space design colored....pink? The cockpit opens and a male figure dressed in a blue suit and helmet hops down the mech to the floor.  
  
"I wonder who the pilot is." Hikaru said to herself, standing inbetween Ryoko and Izumi.  
  
"Well, judging from the color, " Uribatake said with a smile, "We can tell what type of guy he is. I mean seriously, what type of self-respecting man would fly a pink Aestivalis?"  
  
All the crew members begin to laugh and Akito soon joins them saying, "Sorry, I'm late. Hey, what's so funny?"  
  
Uribatake quickly replied, "Nothing." The sounds of muffled laughter could be heard from everyone.  
  
The pilot grasps his helmet and takes it off, and everyone gasps. He had long black hair and smiled in a way that made all the ladies blush. "Good evening, " he spoke in a silky voice. "My name's, well, nevermind about that. Just call me Joe."  
  
Akito looked up with widened eyes, "Joe? He doesn't mean Joe as in - " His words are cut off as Yurika groggily walked in, rubbing some sleep from her eyes. Jun, Ruri, and Goat followed closely behind.  
  
Joe looked up toward's Akito's Aesti. "Tell me, who is the man who pilots this great definition of masculinity?"  
  
Hikaru gave a confused look, "What, you mean the red one?" She is instantly floored by a punch in the back of the head from Ryoko.  
  
"ARE YOU CALLING ME A MAN!? I AM THE LOVIEST WOMAN HERE AND IF ANYONE DENIES IT I'LL KICK THEIR ASS!!"  
  
Izumi gave out a creepy little chuckle, "Ryoko the warrior of womanhood."  
  
Ryoko runs over and grabs Izumi by the collar. "THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!?"  
  
Akito tip toes past the exploding Ryoko - who currently had Izumi in a headlock - and walks over to the newcomer. "Um, actually, that one's mine." Joe turned around quickly and looked Akito up and down with a suspicious look. He then thrusted his face a few inches away from Akito's. "W-What is it?"  
  
Joe relaxed and began to chuckle to himself. "You're the pilot? Someone as meek as you shouldn't be anything more than this ship's, i don't know, cook or something." A sweatdrop appeared on Akito's brow. Joe pressed on his suit and the top half dissolved away, showing a muscular upper body which caught the eye of every woman in the area. "Now this is the figure of a pilot!"  
  
"And how!" Hikaru agreed.  
  
Ruri walked up to Joe and stared at him with a blank expression. "Welcome to the Nadesico. May I ask why you are here?"  
  
Joe looked down on her with a look of curiosity. He bent down to look into her eyes and then began poking her face. "Is this an android?" He asked, pulling at the sides of her mouth. "It looks so real. But you can easily tell its not human."  
  
"Just my luck. The new pilot would prove to be another fool......You can let go of my face now." Joe looked up to see Yurika and instantly forgot about Ruri as he shoved her out of the way. "Why hello there. You must be Captain Misumaru. Its a pleasure." Joe smile was only met with a sleepy face in return.  
  
"Yeah, yeah whatever. Now why did you come?" Yurika asked, not really aware of the situation.  
  
"I was assigned as a replacement for a pilot who was said to of fallen on duty."  
  
Shock came to everyone. Akito the most. "Is he-" Akito thought out loud. "A replacement of Gai? Does that mean....I'm no longer a pilot?"  
  
To be continued....  
  
Author's comments: Chapter 1 is completed! What shall happen now? Will Akito never pilot again? Is Joe the great pilot he seems to think he is? Will Ruri stab him in his sleep? Find out on the next Chapter of Nadesico: New Recruit Joe!  
  
Ruri: Even the author sounds like a fool. 


	2. Akito's Torment Begin

Nadesico: New Recruit Joe! by DoomaWriter  
  
Author's notes: Alright, we're up and on our way! With Chapter 1 down, its now time for chapter 3!...I mean 2. Now I wanna see lotsa smiles and hear from you all!  
  
Ruri: A new arrival came to the Nadesico and proved to be an idiot. What a surprise. Now that he's here not only will Akito surely feel insecure about his masculinity, he may also be replaced by the self-absorbed egotist. Are there no normal pilots out there?  
  
Author: YOU GET BURNING!!  
  
Ruri: Baka.  
  
Part 2: Akito's Torment Begins  
  
His words have forced Yurika into full consciousness. This man has come to shove her beloved Akito away from his spotlight. Joe could obviously see the dred on her face. "Is there something wrong, Captain?" he asked. "You needed a pilot and here I am....what could be the problem?"  
  
"You see..." Yurika began. "We already have a replacement for Gai. Akito is our pilot."  
  
"Akito? I was not informed about him at all. I heard that you had received three new pilots yet you had one Aesti left to be manned. So I was sent to pilot it!"  
  
Joe stood seriously, staring at Yurika's eyes. Neither of them spoke. Ruri glanced at the two, then looked around to see everyone else being just as quiet. She then cleared her throat to gain their attentions. "Mr....."  
  
"Just call me Joe!"  
  
"Mr.....Joe, you said that you are the replacement for the late Mr. Yamada, correct?"  
  
Joe nodded.  
  
"But you came here in your own Aestivalis. So now we have both Mr. Yamada's and your's. Do you plan on being capable of piloting both at the same time?"  
  
Everyone in the room then realized the obvious. There was still a place for Akito to pilot! Now they can except Joe and not have to worry. Akito allowed a smile to slip onto his face. Upon seeing this, Joe turned to him angrilly. "And what is there for you to smile about, Tiny?"  
  
"T-Tiny?" Akito asked.  
  
Joe climbed back up to his cockpit, reached in for something, then came back down. He dropped a large bag onto the floor. Reaching in and pulling out a paper book, he said "I have with me a list of all the positions of everyone upon the Nadesico." He flipped to the list of pilots. "Now tell me, where does the name Tiny Girlyman show up? I can't allow some..stowaway to pilot Nergal property!"  
  
"Well, actually," Akito said turning the pages of the book. "I'm right here."  
  
Turning the book around, Joe read, " 'Akito Tenkawa: Ship Cook'. " He burst out in laughter right in front of Akito's face. Joe laughed and pointed at Akito then held onto his shoulders for support. "Oh....my sides...ow. You had me going there for a second. I knew you weren't pilot material."  
  
Akito frowned. "You don't understand, I-"  
  
He grabbed his bag then looked around and spoke to no one in particular. "So where's my room?"  
  
Yurika looked to Jun who returned it with a shrug. "With all the crewman I'm not sure if we have any more room."  
  
"May I make a suggestion?" Goat said with his perpetual look of harsh seriousness. He called Joe over and told him where he can find his room. Joe was the first to leave the hanger.  
  
"What an odd person, " Yurika said.  
  
"What a body!" Hikaru said.  
  
"What an idiot." Ruri said.  
  
"What a jackass!" Akito whispered to himself. "He better of gotten the room farthest away from mine!"  
  
Running back to his room, Akito smiled happily at the thought of being able to watch his anime. As he ran, he passed Ryoko who was standing by a soda machine on his way.  
  
"Uh....Tenkawa! I was wondering if you would.....That is..." The next thing she knew, Akito was down the hall. He had never stopped to listen to her. "SLOW DOWN WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!" Akito skid to a hault right in front of his door and took one step before being knocked down by a flying tackle from Ryoko and slid across the floor and hit head-first into a wall. "Like I was saying, I was wondering if you would-" Ryoko took a closer look at Akito. "Dammit, now you're unconscious!" In an act of anger, she punches the silent body and then got up and stormed off.  
  
Some time later, Akito's eyes opened and found he was now in his room. He tried to lift his head but felt a stinging headache. The sound of the Gekiganger 3 ending theme song could be heard. Akito slowly turned his head to the direction of his television screen. A figure was sitting and watching his tapes. Akito's eyes opened, "Please....don't be him! Don't be him! Don't be him!"  
  
The figure turned around. It was Hikaru. Akito sighed in relief. "Hey, he's awake!" she called out. In from the small kitchen walked Joe.  
  
"Thanks for watching over him for me, Hikaru. You can go now." With a skip, Hikaru ran out of the room, humming the ending song to herself. "Hey there, Agito. Guess who's your new roommate!"  
  
Akito looked at Joe saddly, "Satan?"  
  
"Haha! Still the joker even in that state, eh? I am, of course! They said it was temporary but I told them that there was no rush. I can stay here until the war's over!" He forced Akito up and placed him in a headlock. With his other hand, he grinded his knuckle into Akito's still throbbing head.  
  
"THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!??"  
  
"Joe and Agito! Inseperable and unbeatable! The Nadesico's strongest offensive power!" Akito turned to him. Had he excepted Akito as a pilot? "Yup, I shall be the strongest pilot and you shall be the guy who prepares the food that keeps the strongest pilot going! A perfect team, eh?"  
  
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!!"  
  
More to come...  
  
Author's comments: Well that chapter was alot of fun, right? (FYI, Joe does call Akito "Agito" in case you were wondering) And for those of you angry about the lack of action, don't worry its coming, its coming! Put down your pitchforks! But what shall happen now? Will Joe kill Akito's chances of piloting? Will Ryoko ever get her true feelings out? Will Megumi put down that magazine to bother Akito? Find out on the next chapter of Nadesico!...maybe.  
  
Ruri: Can't you bother someone else and let me go home now?  
  
Author: No! 


	3. Joe's Day Off

Nadesico: New Recruit Joe!

by DoomaWriter

Author notes: First of all, I'd like to give thanks for those who took time to reply. I am most grateful. But we can do better! I'd like to see more reviews! They keep me alive! More reviews or I'll turn this thing into a romance about Ruri and Uribatake. I'll do it! Now its time for the recap of the last chapter.

Ruri: *sweatdrops* Um...two lives have become intertwined with each other. They say that opposites attract. Whether this is true about people is beyond me, but for Akito's sake, I hope its not.

Author: Say those three words so we can start with today's! You know which three!

Ruri You're an idiot.

Chapter 3: Joe's Day Off

It was pretty late, around midnight. Yurika ran through the halls hoping her love had stayed up late, for she had specially made a late night meal for him. As she rounded the corner, she found that at least one man was still up. He was holding a bottle and strolling down the hall at a slow pace but Yurika couldn't tell who it was in the 0.3 seconds she gave to glance at him as she passed.

Finally, Akito's room! She nudged at his door but it was locked. She looked down at the container holding the warm meal and thought it shouldn't go to waste. So reaching into her pocket, Yurika pulled out a small device and latched it onto the automatic door. A button was pressed and the door slid open. "Nothing can stand in the way of love, " she said with a smile and entered the room. Akito was indeed fast asleep, so she just gave out a sigh and placed the container on the kitchen table and walked out. Maybe he'll find it when he wakes up and thank her tomorrow.

Joe walked leisurely to his new room with a big smile on his face. He carried something in the shape of a champagne bottle in one hand by his side. "How thoughtful," he said to himself. "Agi-o remembered to leave the door open, knowing that I don't have a way to get in. That guy's much too kind. He locked the door behind him and saw his new comrade asleep.

"Hey Agi-o," he said, pronouncing the name even more incorrectly. "Wake up, I've got a surprise for you!" After seeing Akito merely roll over, turning his back to him, Joe gave a light kick to the back of his friend's head.

"Why'd you do that!?" Akito complained, holding the back of his skull.

"To celebrate our uniting, I think we should share a drink!" Joe displayed the bottle.

"You woke me up for this? What time is it?"

Joe pulled up a small table and two glasses. He slammed the bottle on the tabletop and replied, "It's time for a drink! Now come on, come on, loosen up!"

Knowing he couldn't escape, Akito decided maybe Joe'll shut up if he cooperated. He slid off the bed and crawled to the table and sat up. Joe poured the drink into the two glasses, laughing all the while.  "Here's yours, Agi-o!" Excitedly, he picked up the glass and thrusted it forward to hand to Akito. However, after being woken up, one's reflexes aren't that great and the glass smacked into Akito's forehead, which caused him to fall back and hit the edge of his bed. "Hey, hey. You got to be more careful, buddy."

"What kind of drink is this?" Akito asked taking the glass in one hand and rubbing the pain with the other. The drink was a dark shade of purple.

"Secret family recipe, little guy. I had to wait until the kitchen was closed to sneak in and get the ingredients. I call it Joe's Nighttime Blast! It's smooth and is best when you drink it all in one gulp!" A sweat drop fell down Akito's face when he heard the overdone name. He sniffed the drink, shrugged then drank it all down.

"Tell me, if it's a family recipe, why is it named after you?"

Joe went silent. He was about to answer when his friend fell forward upon the table and lay silent. Joe began to chuckle. He placed his still full glass on the tabletop. "Sorry I had to do that to you, shrimp. All's fair in love and war. You'll be sleeping for a long, long time."

  
Akito's head popped up and stared angrily at the now stunned Joe. "What do you mean, sleeping for a long time? The hell was in my drink!?" He grabbed Joe's collar but fell once again. Joe poked at his face to check if Akito was down for good. He then rose to his feet and went to his bed which was across from Akito's. He laughed while he changed out of his uniform and until he eventually fell asleep. Akito's motionless body remained on the table (and untouched, you pervert).

---

Morning came. The sunlight would of woken Joe up had he not been in the empty void of space and there was no such thing as a sunrise upon the Nadesico. Instead, the alarm clock did the trick. "What do you guys do for breakfast around here?" Joe asked before remembering that his partner was in no shape to answer him. "Guess, I'll have to make my own."

Upon the plate stood a sloppy sandwich filled with peanut butter and jelly. Joe sighed. Suddenly, he spotted a container on the table. His eyes glistened, "That's right, Agi-o's a chef. He must of prepared this meal just for me last night. And to think, I repaid him by drugging him. Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk."

  
The container lid flew off and the contents made Joe disappointed yet confused at the same time. He saw what looked like fried rice but was different shades of blue and gray. He spotted thick noodles, or were they thin curly fries? Then it came to him. "Akito's a chef! This must be his creative presentation! I can't understand his eye for abstract art, but its not how it looks but how it tastes! Itadakimasu!"

A fork scooped up what probably were mixed vegetables and went into Joe's mouth. He remained quiet for about three minutes before his face turned to blue and his eyes began to water. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!"

On the bridge, Yurika looked up, "Where did that scream come from?"

Ruri calmly said, "Akito's room." Everyone rested.

"Its probably nothing. Akito shouts all the time."

---

Joe walked wearily through the halls. His mouth was so minty fresh from all the toothpaste he brushed with his taste buds nearly collapsed. "How could a whole ship of people like his crap? Is it a form of military conditioning to suppress emotions and free will by destroying the sense of taste?"

Forgetting about the food, Joe looked at a piece of paper he had worked on. He had looked through his book of Nadesico's crew and wrote down the names of all the women on board. He scanned the names and saw one crossed out. "That's right. The one called Ruri is an android. Well, I still have plenty to choose from. I hit the jackpot with this ship! Who's first on the list?" His eyes went back to the top and read the name Yurika Misumaru. He smiled and sprinted towards the bridge.

---

Yurika heard the sounds of bodies falling over and items falling upon the floor before a door opened up. Joe leaned on a wall casually and smiled at her, trying to hide his heavy breathing. Yurika blinked in a daze. "Joe? What is it?"

"Captain Misumaru, " he began. "As a man, I must confess something of great importance!" He walked over to her and picked up her hands into his own.

"Confess? Confess what?"

He stared straight into her eyes. "That I love you." Minato, who was drinking, almost chocked to death. Ruri gave a slight glance but then turned back to the screen in front of her. Megumi wasn't at her station. The other seats on the bridge were empty as well.

Yurika stared for a moment before smiling and said, "I love you too, Joe!"

"You don't know how happy this makes me, Captain!"

"I love you just as much as everyone else on the Nadesico! You don't have to worry because you're new here." Everyone on the bridge, including Ruri fell to the floor. Still on her feet, Yurika asked, "What? What is it?"

Joe quickly popped back up to his feet. "You don't understand. What I meant was...." He stopped and thought of a way he could explain it to her. When he thought up the right words, he turned and looked into her eyes again.

"Kujikenai kimi ga suki....

Nakitai toki aru nara

Soba ni zutto zutto iru kara"

Yurika gave a blank look. "Um...excuse me?"

Still staring at her screen, Ruri interrupted and said, "He basically said 'I won't give in, I love you...If you ever want to cry, I'll always, always be by your side...'  "

A small screen popped up beside Ruri and a voice yelled out, "YOU GET BURNING!" She quickly closed it before anyone noticed and sighed to herself. Suddenly, a warning popped up in front of her.

"Oh my, " Yurika said. Joe felt glad, knowing that she finally understood what he meant. "I'm so surprised....You're bilingual!"

This time, Joe fell hard enough to crack the floor where he landed. "Hasn't what I said left any effect on you!?"

"Yes, and I feel the same way. You can come to me if you ever need to cry too. You're a good friend, Joe!"

Joe stayed on the floor and thought to himself. *Friend?....I feel like crying right now.*

To be continued...

Author notes: Originally there was to be more, but I noticed how long it was already getting, so we'll have to wait until chapter four for the action. Will Yurika ever understand Joe's feelings? Why did his paper list all the women of Nadesico? What was that warning that Ruri saw?

Ruri: It was obviously-  
  
Author: SSHH!!! Only time and your plentiful reviews will tell!


	4. Joe's Day Off : Part 2

Nadesico: New Recruit Joe! by DoomaWriter  
  
Author's notes: Hmm, I'm starting to wonder how many people read the Nadesico section. I mean, there can't be any other explanation to the lower amount of reviews I'm getting. Well, thanks to those of you who did take two minutes out of your busy lives to help keep me alive. This one's dedicated to you! Seeing as how this is a continuation of the last chapter, I'll skip the recap thing.  
  
Chapter 4: Joe's Day Off: Part 2  
  
Minato looked up from her screen and turned to Yurika, "Captain, five enemy units have appeared at the edge of Nadesico's radar."  
  
"Only five? Why would they send so few?" Yurika asked.  
  
Once again, the sound of people falling over and items falling could be heard before the door opened. This time, Ines walked in, out of breath. She straightened herself. "Allow me to explain." Not realizing Joe was currently on the floor, her heels jammed into his mouth, silencing any type of scream. "You see, its been an unusually long time since the Nadesico has encountered any enemy forces. They are most likely trying to lure us in a sense of security so that they can ambush us when we least expect it."  
  
"But why only five?"  
  
"I thought you graduated at the top of your class. Those five are probably just scouts and aren't planning to attack. They'll send our coordinates back to where advanced numbers are waiting."  
  
Joe stood up and knocked Ines to the floor while doing so. "We can't let them get away! Captain, I'll show you my skills by destroying all of them right now!"  
  
Yurika thought the decision over and was about to protest but the main screen shown Joe's Aestivalis flying away from the ship already. "I don't think he'll be able to do it, " Yurika began. "They're all too far spaced out; he can't get close to all five before they escape with out coordinates. Ruri, contact Akito!"  
  
Ruri pulled up a window to Akito's room but found his body down on the table. "Akito," she said, but he didn't budge. She repeated over and over but nothing. A screen with a picture of an alarm clock pulled up and rang, but he still didn't move. The windows closed and Ruri faced her captain. "He appears to not be able to wake up."  
  
She looked down a bit worried. "What can we do about Akito?" Just then, Jun walked in ready to greet his crush with a good morning but was interrupted by her smiling face. She never seemed so happy to see him, his dreams had come true! "Jun, thank goodness you're here! I need you to wake up my dear Akito!"  
  
Jun stood silently, turned and walked out of the room. Overhearing everything in his cockpit, Joe simply gave a nod, recognizing how he must feel.  
  
Sulking through the halls, Jun came upon Seiya Uribatake. "What are you doing to that vending machine?" In a shock, Seiya lept in the air and then turned around. He looked at his hand which contained a screwdriver and quickly hid it behind his back and smiled. "Wait, I might need your help in waking Akito, come with me!" Seiya simply nodded and happily agreed, anything to keep Jun's mind off of what was going on.  
  
Seconds late, Izumi placed a coin into the vending machine and many more started pouring out constantly. She looked around and then scooped up all the change and ran off.  
  
---  
  
"What a disgraceful sight," Seiya said, staring at Akito. Jun meerly shook his head. They were both staring at the pilot/chef currently passed out on the table, with a bottle of alcohol. "Geez, he had to use two glasses?"  
  
"And its like, seven in the morning, " Jun added. "Does he have no morals?"  
  
Seiya quickly pocketed a canteen and thought of the times Akito had fumbled around in his Aesti and it all made sense. "My god, he's been drunk on all of his jobs!"  
  
"Well, we can't chew him out if he's asleep. Let's wake him up."  
  
---  
  
The new, pink Aestivalis flew to the right of the Nadesico at top speeds. It held a standard gun in one hand and the other was empty. Joe licked his lips in excitement. "Come on ya little bugger, where are you?"  
  
"Careful!" Megumi who was now at her station showed up on a window screen. "If you get too close you'll be out of the Nadesico's powering range."  
  
"Don't you worry your pretty little head, " Joe said, for once not paying a woman any heed. "I know what I'm doing!"  
  
Ruri noticed that the woman-chaser became a new man during battle. "Perhaps he may be useful after all."  
  
The jets of the Aesti went at full power. Soon, the yellow, robotic beetle was in sight. As Joe reached the tip of the powering range, he suddenly haulted and gave out a few shots. They bounced off of an invisible shield and the machine's six robotic eyes all focused upon the threating unit.  
  
A chuckle came from Joe's mouth. "I was hoping this thing wouldn't work. Now we'll do it my way." The free hand of the Aesti let out jets of air and flew from the arm. It slowed down as it hit the Jovian Lizard's shield but broke through and grasped down upon its head. The machine's head was crushed and the whole thing exploded for a second before it was sucked into the void of space.  
  
---  
  
Minato noticed the four remaining targets haulting and moving back to where they came from. "Enemy units retreating. There's no way he'll be capable of destroying the others at this rate."  
  
Yurika frowned. "I knew he'd need help. Now it's too late to even call Ryoko and the others."  
  
A large screen displayed Joe's cockpit. "Hey! Didn't I say I'd take care of them?" he yelled with a determined look. "I was just playing with the first, but I guess its time to get serious." His face lightened and he held up his fingers in the shape of a V. "I dedicate this victory to the lovely Captain Misumaru!" With that, his screen closed.  
  
---  
  
Jun became weary of watching Seiya shaked Akito back and forth. He figured the poor guy'll have one helluva case of whiplash when he wakes up. "Stand back. I'll do this." He walked over to Akito then held his hand up. "Gomen. Forgive me for what I'm about to do!" With that he slapped the unconscious one's face. The body remained still. "What? Gomen!" He slapped Akito again. And then he furiously slapped over and over but nothing.  
  
"Move," Seiya said shoving Jun to the side. "Let me show you how a man does it!" Uribatake moved his arm as far back as his socket would allow. With a war cry, he let his arm fly. His palm collided with Akito's face and knocked his body back and into a desk which then turned over and dumped its contents upon him.  
  
Seiya sweatdropped. "......Oops."  
  
---  
  
"What is he doing?" Ines said, standing next to the captain. They were looking upon the large screen which shown the Aesti holding its gun out. "He should know that shooting won't work. Even if he could make the shots from that distance, the shields will make them useless."  
  
Ruri gave out a gasp as she stared at her monitor. Megumi turned to her and said, "What is it, Ruri-Ruri?"  
  
"Uh....never mind...It's nothing."  
  
The monitor shown the Aesti give off four shots before letting its arm down. It then revolved 180 degrees and headed back to the Nadesico. Everyone on the bridge shown their own signs of being let down. "He's giving up?" Minato asked. "Well, I guess he excepted the fact that not even he-"  
  
"All targets have been destroyed," Minato said as she saw the four dots disappear from her screen. Everyone turned to her. How was that possible?  
  
"What?" Yurika couldn't believe it. No pilot could of pulled that off. And he took them all out with one bullet each. That'd have to be the most precise shooting anyone on the Nadesico had ever seen! Even the ones not watching.  
  
A new window popped up and it displayed Joe with a huge grin on his face. "How do you like that, Captain Misumaru? Most impressive if I do say so myself! And you can make it up to me by excepting my offer of going out!"  
  
Yurika's face switched from amazed to anger. "What are you saying!? You know if I went out of the Nadesico I would be sucked into space! What a mean thing to say!"  
  
---  
  
Stunned, Joe's Aesti simply drifting in its spot. Joe sat staring straight forward, his screen to the Nadesico had been closed a long time ago. He didn't move for a good couple of hours.  
  
---  
  
His feet moved slowly down the hallway. After reaching into his pocket, Joe pulled out his sheet of names once again and brought out a pen. He placed the tip next to Yurika's name and prepared to cross it out but something stopped him. "Technically..." he reminded himself. "She didn't actually say 'no'." He smiled. "I'll meerly try again later! But for now, who's second on the list?"  
  
He peered down to see the name. "Megumi Reinard. Hopefully she'll be more understanding!" Checking his watch, he noticed it was near lunchtime. "Megumi'll have an unexpected guest!"  
  
Joe turned around and quickly tripped over a rather large object. When he checked, he noticed it had been Ruri. "Um....What is it?"  
  
"I have a question I must ask you, Mr. Joe."  
  
"Well, I'm a little busy. Set your internal clock to come to me in three hours!"  
  
A sweatdrop came to Ruri. He still thought of her as an android.  
  
"You know, they did a pretty good job building you...but it seems they wen't cheap when it came to installing a personality. Don't worry, you'll be surprised on how well I am with a labtop! I'll plug it in and install a better one!" He patted her head, messing up her hair in the process, then turned off for the cafeteria.  
  
"Baka," She continued her walking when a new question popped into her head, ".....Plug in?...Where is he expecting to be able to....."  
  
To be continued...  
  
Author's notes: Hmm, something on the monitor surprised Ruri...I wonder what it could of been. And why hasn't Akito woken up? Will the handsome Joe succeed in stealing Megumi from the distant one she loves? Where will Joe plug his labtop into? Find these things out sooner or later at the same Joe section, same Joe fanfic! 


	5. Joe's Day Off: Part 3

Nadesico: New Recruit Joe by DoomaWriter  
  
Author's notes: Well, the newest chapter is here. Believe it or not this is still a continuation of the last story. I mean fighting Jovians doesn't seem like much of a day off now does it? So no recap, no catch phrase yelling, just more story. Read and enjoy.  
  
Chapter 5: Joe's Day Off: Part 3  
  
Joe found himself inside the Nadesico's cafeteria with a big grin. Yurika might have been a hard nut to crack, but here he would have another chance. The paper said Megumi Reinard. Suddenly his grin disappeared and he scratched the back of his head. He looked back and forth between all the crewmembers. "Um.... which one's Megumi Reinard?"  
  
He placed his fist to his chin and thought of how he could call her out. That was it! "Hey! Megumi! It's me, Joe!" His yell wasn't actually directed to anyone. Joe just hoped that Megumi was in the room and that she'd reply. If not, then he'd look really stupid right about now.  
  
A purple-haired woman looked over towards his direction. "Joe?"  
  
The suave man's eyes glinted. He raced over to her table and sat in a seat across from her. "There you are Megumi! I would've come sooner but I couldn't find you in such a crowd!"  
  
"You're that new pilot...We haven't really met before. How did you know my name?"  
  
Joe's face went blank. Beads of sweet appeared on his forehead. Then another idea came to him. "Why, I might not of known you physically, but our spirits are linked together! You see, the power of love drew us to one another!"  
  
Megumi began to blush and ducked her head down. Joe on the other hand had a devilish smile and was wiping a small bit of drool from his mouth. It was the face a conman shows when seeing an obvious sucker.  
  
Joe felt Megumi's hands touch his cheeks and slowly move down to his mouth. Then her fingers grasped the edges and pulled outward, sending out a large amount of pain. "Love, huh?" she said suspiciously. "I could have sworn you were tripping over yourself to get to the captain thirteen minutes ago!" She yanked harder and forced Joe's head to the table. " 'And you can make it up to me by excepting my offer of going out!' Sound familiar!?" Megumi let go to hear Joe's end of the story.  
  
"You...uh...misunderstood," Joe said while rubbing his cheeks. "What I meant was that I...." Joe looked around the cafeteria and the food on the tables turned on another light bulb in his head. "...I...wanted her to buy my lunch. It seemed like a decent thing to do to someone who saved your ship. But maybe I was wrong." He now sported a fake disappointed look. "Its obvious no one around here gives a damn about what I do. Oh no, you already have three perfect pilots, who needs stupid, worthless Joe?"  
  
"We in no way meant to offend- Wait a second, we have four pilots. Hikaru, Ryoko, Aki- Oh my! I forgot! I wanted to meet Akito for lunch! Excuse me." Megumi got up and ran from the table, forgetting all about her lunch companion.  
  
Joe stared quietly before letting artificial gravity drop his head upon the table. "Agi-o? Why would she be in such a hurry to meet him? Hmm...Must owe her money." He began to laugh. "She won't be getting much out of him today."  
  
Out of his pocket, the list appeared once again. Joe began to skim the lines. Before he could see the third name, the paper was snatched from his hand. "Hey! You nosey bastard!" He began as he lifted his head up. "That's my list of-" He stopped as he saw a woman reading the list he surely hadn't attended for women to see. "Uh...that's my list of...birthday invites."  
  
"Birthday invites?" Ines said while skimming the page. "Odd how it says 'Joe's List of Lovely Ladies' on top."  
  
"Uh well, that's a typo." He grabbed the page and quickly stuffed it into his back pocket. "Now on a note totally irrelevant to the previous list, tell me your name. I must know the title such a goddess goes by!"  
  
"Its Ines. It's odd how now I'm a goddess and yet a minute ago I thought I was a 'nosey bastard'."  
  
With a nervous grin, Joe chuckled and waved his hands. "No, no! You must've heard me wrong! I didn't say 'nosey bastard' I said...um.... rosy.....flastard."  
  
"Flastard? I'm pretty sure that's not a word."  
  
"Sure it is! It means..... goddess. So tell me, what's a beautiful woman like you doing later on?"  
  
"Don't bother." She placed a hand on the table and pushed herself to her feet. "Judging by your talk with Megumi, you're much too negative to interest me. Work on that self-esteem." Those were her last words before she was gone.  
  
"I'm.... not good enough...for her!?" The concept was new to Joe. Usually it had been the other way around. Without hesitation, he pulled out the list and crossed the name 'Ines Fresenjue' off. "Stuck up bitch."  
  
He skimmed down the list but merely sighed and crumpled the paper before throwing it into the nearest wastebasket. "This ship is full of freaks." A thud sounded as his fist hit the tabletop. "I'm sick of begging! I am Great Pilot Joe! They should all be swooning over me."  
  
Meanwhile, behind Joe, out of his sight, the Howmei girls were all distracted from their cooking and staring at Joe. (Howmei herself was constantly checking her watch and wondering where the hell Akito was).  
  
"That's it!" Joe said confidently. "I'll try one more! And no matter what SHE shall be mine!" Joe turned around and pointed to a random person. His finger and luck had picked out Minato. "Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all."  
  
"Ahem."  
  
Something bumped into the back of Joe's head and he turned around. He saw the large build and not too happy face of Goat Hory. Joe looked at his finger then back at the man, then swallowed in a dry throat. He quickly moved his finger to the side and pointed to the woman next to her. The giant made a confused look then walked off peacefully.  
  
"Damn, what the hell was that about?" Joe asked himself. "Now, who did I pick?"  
  
"That would be," the Prospector said, suddenly appearing behind Joe out of nowhere. "None other than Ms. Izumi Maki." After an awkward moment of silence between the two, Prospector corrected his glasses then left as well.  
  
"Geez, am I being that obvious?" Joe wondered. "Well, I'm sure this Izumi chick can't be all that bad."  
  
---  
  
Three hours later, as planned, Joe walked to the bridge with his laptop under his arm. Well, not so much as walked as run while saying, "I think I finally lost her." The laptop had the logo of an ancient anime series, which no one else could figure out the meaning of. It read NERV. "Hey, Ruri! Today's a great day to start being alive!"  
  
"Baka," Ruri said, while still staring at her screen of advanced Japanese Kanji symbols.  
  
Joe turned on his laptop and plugged a cord into the back. He took the other end of the crowd in his hand. "Alright, now where does this go in?"  
  
"Mr. Joe, I still have a question I must ask you." Ruri said, trying to change the topic.  
  
"It's not one of those philosophical questions like 'Can androids have souls' or something is it?" All the while, Joe was glancing around Ruri's head and neck for some sort of outlet.  
  
"No. When you destroyed those retreating enemy targets, you actually confused Omoikane for a minute. He might not of been able to tell, but I believe I know the reason."  
  
"Well that's not much of a question." Joe had moved to searching Ruri's arms.  
  
"Omoikane's reaction and your unbelievable aiming, they are connected. Mr. Joe, did you-" Her words were stopped instantly as Joe had peered down the front of Ruri's shirt.  
  
---  
  
"W-what happened..."  
  
"Akito! You're awake! I knew the power of our love would bring you back!"  
  
Finding himself on the bed, Akito looked around and wondered why was his head throbbing. Little did he know, his face was covered in black marker scribbling. Akito now had fake a black eye, swirls upon his cheeks, lines coming down from his nose and the word 'DRUNK' on his forehead.  
  
In the room, Megumi was sitting on the bed next to him while Seiya and Jun were putting away their markers and whistling innocently.  
  
"You were here for so long," Seiya told Megumi. "Why did your love take three hours to bring him back?"  
  
"Love takes time!" Megumi yelled.  
  
"If you ask me, the stuff must've just worn off."  
  
"Stuff?....The drink!" Akito yelled as his face became more and more red with anger.  
  
"Yes, you seemed to of overdone it." Jun said, ashamed for Akito.  
  
In a blind rage, Akito picked up the largest knife he could find in his kitchen. Then, realizing he didn't want to commit murder, he replaced it with the largest spoon. "WHERE'S JOE!?!?"  
  
"Hmm," Jun said. "I heard a loud scream moments ago. He's now in the infirmary."  
  
---  
  
With his right arm and left leg in casts, Joe sat back staring at the ceiling. "Why me?"  
  
Beside him, he was being treated to the horrible strumming of Izumi's ukulele.  
  
--- More to come. ---  
  
Author's notes: In case anyone's wondering, Joe is a big fan of 20th century anime. Don't worry, I'm not going to change this into a crossover. Now I must go because Ruri is currently holding me in a very painful headlock.  
  
Ruri: One cannot write without their arms.  
  
Author: Aww nuts. Help! 


End file.
